Trivia, Fun, and Games
Jokes for the Fourth of July

Q: If you crossed a vegetable with our first president, what would you get?
A: George Squashington

Q: If you crossed a rooster with the first signer of the Declaration of Independence, what would you get?
A: John Hancock-a-doodle-doo

Q: If you crossed George Washington with cattle feed, what would you get?
A: The Fodder of Our Country

Q: If you crossed a Patriot with a curly-haired dog, what would you get?
A: Yankee Poodle

Q: If you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy, what would you get?
A: A bald beagle.

Q: If you crossed a famous Founding Father with a famous monster, what would you get?
A: Benjamin Franklinstein

Q: What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?
A: Beneduck Arnold

Q: What protest did dogs hold in 1773?
A: The Boston Flea Party

Q: What did Americans do because of the Stamp Act?
A: They licked the British.

Q: Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington and Concord?
A: The horse was too heavy to carry.

Q: Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
A: To get to the other tide.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?
A: Yes, it was a crack up.

Q: What did the Patriot put on his dry skin?
A: Revo-lotion

Q: Who is a dog’s favorite Founding Father?
A: Bone Franklin.

Q: What was the most popular dance in 1776?
A: Indepen-dance.

Q: Who was the biggest jokester in Washington’s army?
A: Laughayette

Q: What did Washington ask as he crossed the Delaware?
A: "How much did the reserved seats cost?"

Q: Do flags talk to other flags?
A: No. They just wave.

Q: Who is a fake patriot?
A: Uncle Sham.

Q: Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?
A: At the chopping mall.

Q: What kind of tea did the American colonists want?
A: Liberty.

Q: What was General George Washington’s favorite tree?
A: The infantry.

Q: Which colonists told the worst jokes?
A: Punsylvanians

Q: If rats and cockroaches lived at Washington’s home, what would you call it?
A: Mt. Vermin

Q: What has four legs, a red nose, and fought for the British?
A: Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer

Q: Why did British soldiers wear red coats?
A: So they could hide in the tomatoes.

Q: How is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?
A: They’re both cracked.

Q: What has feathers, webbed feet, and certain inalienable rights?
A: The Ducklaration of Independence.

Q: What cat warned that the British were coming?
A: Paw Revere.

Q: What was the craziest battle of the American Revolution?
A: The Battle of Bonkers Hill.

Q: What was Thomas Jefferson's favorite dessert?
A: Monti jello.

Q: What ghost haunted King George III?
A: The spirit of ’76.

Q: What's red, white, blue and green?
A: A seasick Uncle Sam.

Q: Why were the first Americans like ants?
A: They lived in colonies.

Q: What famous pig signed the Declaration of Independence?
A: John Hamcock.

Q: What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
A: It can’t sit down.

Q: Do they have a Fourth of July in England?
A: Yes, it comes just before the fifth of July.

Q: Why did George Washington put a chicken on guard duty?
A: He wanted to have "chicken catch a Tory."

Q: What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington?
A: One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill.

Teacher: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
Student: At the bottom.

Teacher: OK, was the Declaration of Independence written in Philadelphia?
Student: No, it was written in ink.

Teacher: Why did Washington chop down the cherry tree with a hatchet?
Student: Because he couldn’t find the chain saw.

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